How to talk to kids about a grandparent’s ill health
Telling a child that a grandparent is suffering from a serious illness is a delicate and challenging task. Here are some helpful tips to help you navigate this conversation.
Choose a quiet and comfortable place where you can have a private conversation without interruptions. Ensure that you have enough time to address any questions or concerns your child may have.
It’s best to avoid using medical jargon and complex terms, so try to tailor your explanation so it’s age-appropriate. If you have children of varying ages, it might be better to tell older ones first and enlist their help in telling and supporting younger siblings.
Be prepared to answer questions your child may have. If you don’t know the answer, be honest about it. You could say ‘that’s a good question - I’m not sure the answer to that one - so thanks for asking it. I’ll find out for you and let you know’.
It’s important to be honest with a child but at the same time, be mindful of their emotional capacity - they may not be able to absorb all the details in this initial conversation and there will be time to give more details in bite-sized chunks.
Simple metaphors and analogies can be really useful to explain the concept of cancer. For example, you might compare cancer cells to ‘unhealthy’ cells that need special treatment or ‘magic medicine’ to get better.
Lots of good people are looking after and supporting your child’s grandparent - from the local GP to all the doctors and nurses at the hospital. Personalising these details by using the names of the medical staff will add to this reassurance and you could liken them to your child’s favourite super-hero.
Creative activities such as drawing, writing, modelling or play can be helpful for children to express their feelings. It’s not always easy to put feelings into words, so this will be a useful outlet. You may find that sitting with your child and joining in will be therapeutic for yourself too.
Involve the Grandparent (if possible). If they’re open to it, they can share their experience, answer questions and provide reassurance directly to the child. This can create a sense of connection and understanding.
Involve your child in small care-giving activities or visits to the hospital. This can help them to feel connected and show that they can contribute to the grandparent’s wellbeing.
Monitor your child’s emotional wellbeing. If you notice changes in behaviour such as unexplained angry outbursts, nightmares, bedwetting or eating issues, seek professional advice.