How to talk to kids about Coronavirus
Anxiety during a Pandemic
Keeping children happy in the age of anxiety is becoming increasingly harder, it seems. Gone are those carefree days when it was easy to stay pretty sheltered from news items. We’re now a 24 hour news society with an endless stream of information filtering into our homes whether we want it or not.
The Coronavirus pandemic will present challenges like no other and quite possibly something our children will remember for the rest of their lives.
Here are my Top Tips for keeping children calm and happy in this age of anxiety:
1. Place strict limits on news updates
It is tempting to keep checking the latest news bulletins (I know this only too well!) but everyone will feel a lot calmer if continuous TV and radio news bulletins are switched off completely. Make a decision to check in just once or twice a day and do this out of earshot of the kids. If you pick the same time each day to do this, it will start to become an automatic habit and the temptation to dip into news feeds at other times, will recede.
2. Inform yourself
What are the facts and how likely are you to be in real danger? The Coronavirus is most dangerous for older people and those with pre-existing issues that already comprise their health. It is thought to produce much milder symptoms in 4 out of 5 people who are younger, healthier and fitter. So you can reassure your child that they're unlikely to catch it but explain the practical steps they should take to lessen the risk of spreading it. Teach them how to thoroughly wash hands and to cough and sneeze into tissues that should be thrown away quickly.
3. Reassure your child that we’re safe
Empathise by using phrases such as: “I can see that you’re feeling worried / scared / anxious and that’s understandable.” Tell your child that when horrible things happen, there are lots of people who are looking after us and will keep us safe – eg. Government, scientists, doctors, nurses, police, teachers, Mums and Dads who will all ensure that problems will be solved.
Always use words that reflect the desired state, such as:
– It’s OK, we’re all safe.
– We can stay calm about this because solutions will be found.
– We can feel reassured because there are plenty of people taking care of this for us.
– The situation will be over soon.
4. Avoid using negative phrases such as:
– Don’t worry.
– Just stop thinking about it.
– Don’t keep going on about it or you’ll just start feeling worse.
– Stop talking about it because you’re starting to scare your little brother! (Say this and don’t be surprised if ‘little brother’ starts crying.)
Our minds make pictures or images out of the words that we think or hear. Using a negative word will mean your child will end up doing exactly what you don’t want them to do – and that’s worry!
5. Give plenty of time
Spend extra time sitting with your child especially at bedtime and listen carefully to their concerns. Every child is different and depending on their age and temperament will have a different perspective on the news stories. It’s possible to worry your child even more by giving too much information in your conversations, so try to learn specifically what it is that’s worrying your child. It may not be as bad as you think and a simple answer may be all that’s required.
6. Have a ‘good news’ only rule at mealtimes
It’s all too common for us to gather round a table and exchange bad news - perhaps you haven’t noticed it before. “I missed the bus; was late for school/work; got pushed over in the playground; got given too much homework; missed out on buying toilet rolls in the supermarket”. (Haha..) It’s not surprising that so many of us suffer from indigestion! Keep a good news only rule by asking everyone round the table to come up with 3 good things that happened to them today. These can be quite simple - such as, ‘it was a sunny day, I watched my favourite TV show or I’m happy we’re eating pizza tonight’. And if you’re short of conversation, keep a joke-book to hand and get the kids to read jokes out to the family over dinner.
7. Food
It may be tempting to make the world seem ‘a happy place’ by giving more treats such as chocolate, sweets, ice-cream and cake, but that will simply add to your child’s ‘wobbly’ feelings and these foods can create mood swings too. The stimulating effects of sugar and caffeine in fizzy and energy drinks will also cause fluctuations in blood sugar levels and this includes natural sugars found in fruit juices and smoothies. Introduce more protein into the diet to help steady your child’s nerves and make them feel more grounded. Good foods to eat plenty of are: wholegrain breads rather than white, fish, turkey, chicken, cottage cheese, pulses and fruit and vegetables in general.
6. Fresh air and exercise
Watching and hearing bad news stories will increase the production of adrenaline and cortisol in the body. Ensure your child has plenty of outlets for burning these stress chemicals off. Increase the amount of exercise they take right now, preferably in the open air, otherwise their stress levels will simply keep on elevating.
7. Laugh
Laughter is another way of changing the brain’s chemistry quickly as the body releases feel-good endorphins. Watch more comedy and funny movies on TV. Create a family movie night and ask your children to come up with a list of their favourites and schedule them into the diary.
You can read more about managing children’s anxiety in the new book ‘First Aid for your Child’s Mind’ .
About the Author
Alicia Eaton is a Harley Street based Psychotherapist and Clinical Hypnotherapist and the author of four best-selling books. She’s also a Winner in the latest ‘Global Health & Pharma’ Mental Health Awards 2023. For more details of appointments see here: Consultations.