After so many weeks in lockdown, it’s only natural that some parents will now feel worried at the prospect of sending their child back to school, but with a little bit of thought and careful management, it is possible to make this a positive experience.

1. Get as much information from teachers and schools as possible: What will the new routine look like?  Will children be able to mix together at lunchtimes and break times.  Will some of them be separated from their friends?  The more you know, the easier it will be for you to explain things in a more confident manner.  Your child will be looking to you as the authority figure and you’ll need to convey the message that you know what’s going on. Uncertainty produces anxiety.

2. Stepping back outside into the big, wide world will create feelings of sensory overload for all of us.  The world will seem a noisier, busier place than it did before and children are particularly susceptible to this as their senses are in the developmental stage. They already experience the world in a much more vibrant way – sounds are louder and smells stronger – so the fact that they’re not all going back to school at the same is a good thing. A quieter, less populated environment will be better for them.

 3. Having the companionship of friends provides the extra support needed when the world seems a hostile place and children will benefit from going back to school.  There’s much comfort to be derived from shared experiences and even if children can’t quite verbalise their feelings, being able to share stories of the 8pm Thursday night ‘Clap for Carers’ routines for example, will be beneficial.

 4. Leaving home without their siblings will seem strange for the child that’s going to school. Emphasise that this is for their benefit so the school will be quieter and they will have more space. Reassure the child that is going to school that the rest of the family will be thinking of them – use phrases such as ‘when you’re at school I’ll look for that missing blue sock / yellow pencil’. Emphasise that the child that is left at home will also be doing school work – ensure that any ‘fun family activities’ are only carried out when the school child returns home.  The last thing you want them to be thinking is that everyone is having fun without them.

5. You’ll also need to consider how the siblings that are ‘left behind’ at home will feel. They may worry for the one that’s leaving – after all, we’ve heard nothing but stories about how the world is a dangerous place outside. It’s good to talk so ensure that you offer time to do this. If you notice a decline in their behaviour – stroppy tantrums, angry outbursts or tears, it’s very likely to be unexpressed emotions of anxiety, so be extra tolerant.  Avoid special rewards or treats – the last thing you will want is for the school child to return home and hear that life at home is more exciting.

5. When your child returns home from school, have the whole family sit down with a snack to hear their ‘news’.  Be patient – young children don’t always have the vocabulary to express their feelings but it’s important to give them the opportunity and to let them feel they are being listened to.  If the reply to your question of ‘what did you do at school today’ is ‘nothing’, be happy. It usually means all is well.

 6. After all the negative messages about germs and keeping our distance from others, if we are to avoid seeing a generation of children grow into adults that suffer OCD and anxiety related conditions, it’s wise to start giving the message that this temporary situation is now coming to an end.

 7. Introduce regular relaxation exercises for your child – eg. breathing exercises, mindfulness.  This will help to detox their minds from all the anxiety that’s been swirling around and will not only help them to be more resilient but also foster feelings of confidence.

Handled correctly the experience of being first back at school should have positive effects on confidence levels and resilience that will remain with our children for the rest of their lives.

You can read more about solving children’s school anxiety issues in “First Aid for your Child’s Mind” see here:

First Aid For Your Child's Mind